Define "chronic" masturbator.
where am i from again
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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