hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
