If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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