he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
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i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
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I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
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