She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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