How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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