I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
