obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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