You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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