i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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