Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize