JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
