It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
