Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
