I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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