someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Randomize
