READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
