That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
