I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
