Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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