You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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