i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
