he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
