The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
its like you know when i get waxed
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.