Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Do vagina's smell?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
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I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
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You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma