Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.