Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
