SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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