She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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