Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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