Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Welp...herpes.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
