oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
