im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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