I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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