: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
