Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
