I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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