i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
