The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
