do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
