if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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