dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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