I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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