White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
