I skipped work to stalk him.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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