i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
