It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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