Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
