apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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