I love black thongs
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
me + whiskey = a bad person
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
its liver damage thursday
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
