i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
