new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
where are my eyebrows?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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