I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Duck Duck Cougar?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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