I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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