someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
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Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
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It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.