Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job

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  (312): Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job http://tfl.nu/iix6
  Replies (27) Good night (4910) Bad night (514) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend

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  (805): we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend http://tfl.nu/2gsx
  Replies (74) Good night (3074) Bad night (9867) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??

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  (602): Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance?? http://tfl.nu/47ts
  Replies (75) Good night (2584) Bad night (3776) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"

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  (301): the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst" http://tfl.nu/u5av
  Replies (16) Good night (7643) Bad night (863) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.

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  (773): apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened. http://tfl.nu/hpbr
  Replies (18) Good night (5707) Bad night (1448)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.

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  (541): Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars. http://tfl.nu/cv6a
  Replies (8) Good night (1971) Bad night (438) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?

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  (561): We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us? http://tfl.nu/dqdu
  Replies (12) Good night (3702) Bad night (460) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic

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  (310): If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic http://tfl.nu/pi8f
  Replies (0) Good night (1058) Bad night (669) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.

  (858): View more from California

  That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.

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  (317): They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof. (858): That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car. http://tfl.nu/twx7
  Replies (6) Good night (639) Bad night (625)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together

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  (816): First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman. (540): Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together http://tfl.nu/87tf
  Replies (3) Good night (839) Bad night (268)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Incredible.

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  (224): He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time. (847): Incredible. http://tfl.nu/oew8
  Replies (6) Good night (1142) Bad night (269)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b

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  (712): This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b http://tfl.nu/chgx
  Replies (2) Good night (453) Bad night (750) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!

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  (262): one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday! http://tfl.nu/b0h1
  Replies (2) Good night (504) Bad night (201) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.

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  (989): Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing. http://tfl.nu/a55j
  Replies (1) Good night (455) Bad night (124) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"

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  (318): A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?" http://tfl.nu/oinl
  Replies (5) Good night (1377) Bad night (207) Order T-Shirt

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