you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
