I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.