I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
