You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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