My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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