Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
