im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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