i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
