dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
